Dang Flu

I think this winter has been the worst time for people being sick. For the last 3 weeks I have had a cold that has now turned into something worse. I can not breath without coughing up stuff that a person should not have in their bodies. Not to mention both of my grandkids have had the flu for the last week. Little Mya is only 7 months old and she was so sick. Mason has relapsed because he will not stay still, and if he feels semi okay he goes full force. Then all the sudden he crashes and his fever goes up. Kaycie is now sick, dang... The doctors office is so booked that they said it would be a few days before they would be able to see me. I almost cried so they put me on the waiting list, and within a few hours they called and fit me in. I got 2 shots, antibiotics, cough syrup with codine, decongestants, and steriods. I still feel like ...... CRAP.... even worse today... shouldn't I feel better????
Dang, what a mess I am.....maybe tomorrow I can go to work... Only if my fever is gone will my co-workers will allow me to get back to work. I think they would shoo me out the door if I showed up. Oh well tomorrow is another day.

I know it should be not so hard

Working in retail for the last 8 years has kinda taken my "Christmas spirit" away. In the last 28 days I, and the other ASM's have had 3 days off. One may ask "How do you get your shopping done?" Well my answer is most of the people I buy for gets presents from Dillards. It is easier to just shop there. Even the kids, I really need to go to ToysRUs or Target to get toys, not just clothes. I guess the parents like the clothes but kids like toys. I really need to work on this one. Well Bah Hum Bugggg

Why

Why do people let what is supposed to be the "Joyous" season become so unhappy. Right now, well Monday my daughter is calling a divorce attorney. Her husband has decided that he still loves her but does not want to be married anymore. What??? Should he not have thought of that before now? Should he not think about his 3 year old and his 6 month old? How is this going to affect them. See he has always said he didn't want his kids to go through what he had to. His parents were divorced, so isn't he now a hypocrite? This is not the first time this has happened and the last time my daughter had a nervous breakdown. She eventually recovered and things got better, and they worked things out.... until now, 2 years later. He is 24, isn't that time to grow up? He is a father of 2, isn't that time to grow up? I just don't get it, how can a parent think of themselves more than the feeling of their children? How can you be so selfish, "I just want to go out and don't want to be married anymore.". I just don't get it...

TMI

One day my presentation days will be over, at least I hope they will be. I have finally finished my presentation on Women on Death Row. I found out statistics that I would have ever dreamed and found information on crimes that I could not imagine. How does someone just see someone and decide to kill them? And kill them in the most hanious ways all the while the person begs for their life? Can they not see that they are killing someones kid, someones parent, someones friend? Let alone the victim being one of God's children. How can humans be so mean to each other? I just don't get it. Guess I never will. I did have a debate with a fellow student. He said he could never every kill someone, I asked him if he was a parent. He said no, and then I said just wait until you are one. If someone harms your child you will fill all the anger it would take. I don't even try and deny it, I would hurt them if possible. I just know myself. I pray God never test me in that way, because I know I should forgive someone if they did that to my child, but I just don't know if I could. I guess I need more prayer.

Why are we there?

Anyone that knows me knows I am NOT a George W Bush fan. I have a real problem with people that can not fess up when they are wrong or even admit their faults. God made us all human and part of being human is making mistakes. I FULLY support our military. They are doing their job and doing the VERY BEST we can expect. They are the BEST!!!! However, I still ask "why are we really in Iraq"? Wasn't there other leaders that were bigger threats to the US? Now, remember Iraq didn't bomb us, that I fully think we need to resolve (it has been to long already). We need to find all involved and string them up and let every American flog them. What they have done is despicable and unforgivable. Once again, however, what about North Korea or even Iran? Don't they have INSANE leaders and don't the people deserve democracy as much or even more than the people of Iraq? Have we really done justice for the people of Iraq? Are they better off? I am not saying they are or the are not, it is a question. But what I do know is I am really tired of seeing funeral listing for YOUNG men and women that have been killed in my local paper. I also work with a woman that son was sent to Iraq 3 months ago, and they found out yesterday that he has contracted Hepatitis C in Iraq. He was married 2 weeks before he left for training and then sent to Iraq. He is in the national guard. Isn't he supposed to be guarding OUR nation, not another nation? I just don't get it. Maybe someone can enlighten me, cause I am just frustrated and want some answers.

When I finally graduate

People have asked me why I am still going to college. My answer is "Why not?" Really it was something that I vowed to do when I graduated highschool. Several things have delayed the final graduation date, bad marriage, wonderful children, jobs, ect. But finally I have a date... December 2008. I have spent 25 years off and on trying to get my degree. Through all 25 years my major has changed from accounting to nursing to psychology and finally criminal justice. I really wish I would have known what I know now back then. I would not have spent so much time on classes I didn't need. I already have over 150 college hours, but not in my declared major, but after this semester I will only lack 2 classes and 150 hours of internship. If I could only find a way to work 60-70 hours a work, and 6 hours of college, and complete the 150 hours of internship, eat and sleep I could finish in May. I just can not figure out how to get that 150 hours of internship done so that will have to wait until December. Patience I guess

Martha Stewart I am NOT

I just want to be creative. You know be able to write things that inspire, but it's hard to read Texan slang. Or even sew pretty things, not possible; I am that person that almost failed home economics. My apron was NOT pretty. How about taking pretty pictures, surely I could do that right. Not even with the most advanced digital cameras. I tried to take a picture of my grand daughters little feet, you know like the professionals do. The ones that make you go, ohhhhh how cute and chubby. All mine looked like was feet... and it was ewwwww not ohhhhh. Then the idea came to me, scrap booking. I have lots of friends that can help, if they can do it I am sure I can too. But no..... I have bought about $300 worth of little pretty things to stick here and glue there and cut with these and punch holes with that. So I spread it all out on the bed and began. One picture at a time I thought, just take one at a time. I took out some pretty paper to put the picture on and adjusted the picture just so. I thought, "okay that looks good" but I needed to trim the picture just a little. So I took some of the "special scrap booking scissors" and cut the picture.... damn to much. Back to the printer to print another picture. Okay, lets try this again. I cut it okay this time, and I was going to be adventurous and do a "rub transfer" (fancy term huh) of her name on the picture. Damn again, the "Z "rubbed off with the "Y" and I couldn't figure out how to make that "Z" into an "A". Back to the damn printer again. Well this time the rubbing worked, now time to glue the damn picture to the page. I think this is the only thing that worked out okay, I managed to do that correctly. It only took 2 hours and the first page is complete. I think I need a drink and a zanax. Martha can have this damn "relaxing" shit, I will take driving in Houston traffic before I do another page.